office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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