i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
