Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
