Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
