In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
