I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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