Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
