they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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