i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
