is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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