I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
