He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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