need another drink. this is the easiest way
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize