He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
