That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
