you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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