ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
