She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
