There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
