I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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