to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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