dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
