North Korea, Best Korea!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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