Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
