In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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