No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
