Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
