weddingsv make me drug and hornr
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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