Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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