Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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