plz talk dirty to me
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
