So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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