I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
