I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize