he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
