You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
