we have officially mastered the walk of shame
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
