I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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