it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Say something about gay babies.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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