If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
