There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
