ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
