I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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