Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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