i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
