yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
