too bad you live with your parents still
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
