my phone cant type all the emotion im having
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
