well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
