I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize