i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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