Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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