Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
