honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
