it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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