he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
