i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
