That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
