i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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